Death is a natural part of the life cycle. We can prepare for the best opportunity to approach this transition with peace and harmony.

Everyone 18 or older can get some basic affairs in order to alleviate stress on themselves and their loved ones. With advance care planning you communicate with loved ones what you want to happen if you’re in an accident or other emergency and can’t make medical decisions for yourself. Ideally the process involves conversations with loved ones and a legal document to name one or more advocates who will make decisions for you if needed. Additionally keeping beneficiary information up to date and having a legal will or trust will help ensure your possessions are handled according to your wishes.

It’s normal and understandable to have fear or resistance to facing your own death (at any age). I love the Respecting Choices ® format. As a facilitator, I guide people making their advance care plans through conversation about what is important and meaning for them based on personal history, values, and beliefs. It’s a great honor to witness someone describe what makes life meaningful to them. Everyone is so different and the focus is on what each person wants. There’s no expected path to follow and no judgment for speaking your truth.

Having these conversations and documents in place frees us up to live in the present. There’s less need to fear about what will happen in future scenarios because we’ve done your best to address foreseeable circumstances and in many cases left instructions in which our designated advocates can use their best judgment as needed.

Beyond these considerations there’s a whole pathway based on death doula practices of reviewing one’s life story, taking care of unfinished business, and planning rituals for dying and after death. Everyone’s life has challenges and being able to understand our stories in a meaningful way brings us a sense of peace and harmony and allows us to improve the rest of the story as we go. It’s actually ideal to process, leave behind, and/or transform unfinished business as we go through life. Again, the sooner we deal with these things, the more joy we have for all the remaining time of our lives. Planning what we’d like for our death and remembrance, including a legacy, gives us deeper peace knowing that we’ve expressed our wishes and prepared ourselves for the great mystery.